Remember that job I was referring to in my previous post? The 9 to 5? Well that American dream went down the toilet, real fast. I go from working one semi-creative part time job, where my boss purposefully changed my hours on my timesheet, to another full time job with no flexibility and no creativity. Then after eight days of training, I quit. I no longer wanted to waste my time or theirs any longer because I wasn’t happy. Don’t get me wrong. The full time job had the nicest people. They were kind, funny, personable, and all around passionate about their positions and their company. My interview here was probably the best interview I’ve ever had. And the benefits… loads of them… so many options. So of course I gave it my best shot for them, but I was miserable. If there was even a milligram of creativity, I would have stuck it out. But there wasn’t and I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like I was drowning.
The relief I felt after quitting was astounding. Life felt new like the first breath of spring even though the bitter cold was freezing the snot in my nose. But I inhaled! Oh I inhaled. It was deep, it was calming, it was invigorating. And I drove home singing; shouting the lyrics to #formation and dancing in my seat. Looking like a fool but not caring if anyone saw. I felt alive.
Something so simple as quitting my job did all of that. Through this small act I’ve learned so much about myself:
Desk job ≠ Alaysia
9 to 5 ≠ Alaysia
Zero Flexibility ≠ Alaysia
Zero Creativity ≠ Alaysia
Forget settling. I am in the pursuit of happiness. Since technically I don't deserve it... (That'll be discussed later.)
I attended college. I have the credits and the loans to prove it. Sallie Mae can cosign. And if you’ve noticed from my earlier paragraph I stated that I tried to do the job for them, not for myself. That was the problem. Often I spend my time doing for others. There is nothing wrong with that because it’s humbling. But amidst these moments, I forget to do the work for myself. I forget myself. Then I become so far from me that if I don’t catch it early, it takes someone close to me to point it out OR my level of stress reaches the point of nuclear and it starts to take it out on my body: my skin, my weight, my energy… That is the truth of it. I had to be honest with myself:
1) That job was not the best fit.
2) It’s okay to not know everything.
I’ve come to understand that if I can recognize that something isn’t right, and I am able to do something about it, something good will come from it. So, I quit.
Water & Coconut Oil,